Men of Any Age
Chemex: I don’t want to break tradition and not recommend a new coffee making device as a gift. He’ll love it because it’s idiot proof, you’ll love it because it’s the exact one Monica and Rachel had!!!
Tablet mount: Get this for any college student…can you imagine not having to do that thing where you’re laying on your dorm bed and your laptop is on your chest and way too bright and you can feel your vision slowly worsening and it’s probably giving you radiation and your neck hurts and you get second degree burns…or you try to sort of spoon your laptop laying on your side… Other Suggestions: This is so adorable?
Dog bow tie: These are obscenely well-made & my dog is going to look so handsome for Thanksgiving and Christmas!!! Even people (cough, men, cough) who make fun of people who dress their dogs up can’t begrudge themselves the joy of seeing their handsome boy in a bow tie. Anyway I will link to a picture of my dog in his bow tie after Thanksgiving you’re welcome. (The bow tie is removable so if you don’t get too theme-y of a pattern, you’re also just buying a lovely new collar.) Pro tip: order now, they take a bit to make.
Maple syrup: An exceptionally safe gift; everyone in the world loves liquid amber tree candy but dads think it is a dad thing so it seems thoughtful. All dads make pancakes, and all dads love the concept of REAL maple syrup (it’s one of the many things all dads have in common with President Bartlet; another thing is intense love of National Parks). Plus the bottle is very cute and I expect it will make a great Christmas morning Instagram so it’s a gift for everyone. Double plus, I love a present that the receiver starts using that very day. Other Suggestions: Have I ever talked to you guys about Rare Bird Preserves? If you’re in Chicago it’ll be real easy to find them but if you’re elsewhere it might be trickier. Anyway the lemon curd is my favorite but the fig earl grey is everyone else’s favorite, Elizabeth is an angel sent from jam heaven. This would be another good Christmas breakfast treat.
Dice cocktail glasses: This is some Las Vegas realness I want one for myself. I kind of DON’T want you to get this for that guy who is annoyingly obsessed with his weekly poker game but what the fuck, it’s the holidays. Other Suggestions: Ravinia bros would go nuts for this shit. Also a baby Courvoisier would be an adorable stocking stuffer?
Bull bike rack: This isn’t very applicable to everyone but I know I will reach one person out there who needed the perfect gift for someone who is hard to buy for: this is the perfect gift for a Chicago hipster (passionate about bikes & efficient uses of space) basketball fan (it’s in the shape of a Bull) who is also handy (he’ll love installing it himself). Other Suggestions: Ski goggles would be cute & useful. Even if it was just a cheap pair to symbolize a commitment to going skiing with them that season.
Sheet set: You’re going to say, Parachute bedding is one of THE It girl purchases of 2016, why are you recommending it for guys? Because It girls already have thoughtfully picked out bedding and half the time guys barely know how to do their own laundry. Other Suggestions: I’m still very in love with the idea of one day having a Tivoli alarm clock instead of my iPhone alarm. A very grown up, bachelor type gift. They have less pricey models but this one has bluetooth streaming.
Scarf: I’m on fire for silk scarves right now, girls or guys, it’s such a look. Other Suggestions: If you really want to splash out go Drake’s. I hesitate to recommend getting pocket squares for the men in your life because I firmly believe that if a man can pull of a pocket square, he’s buying them for himself (and half the guys who are out here buying them for themselves can’t even pull them off) so proceed with caution there.
Socks: It’s really easy to tell if corporate guys are ambitious or just casually corporate because ambitious corporate types will be wearing crazy socks and casual corporate guys just wear, like, black. Other Suggestions: They’re both work related so just go with me here. I would love a little vintage-y desk fan; you can find a USB fan if you want to be very cute but I choose style over novelty. Anyway I get way overheated on my commute, especially in the summer but sometimes in winter you over-layer and you’re a sweaty mess by the time you reach your desk. Also, don’t hate me but I might not hate a tiny box of those alcohol infused toothpicks to have at my desk? I don’t give a rat’s ass about them tasting like scotch but sometimes I’ll have a spinach salad for lunch like an idiot and even though I can LOCATE the spinach in my teeth I can’t get it out and these have cute packaging.
Spartan knife block: This is absurdly adorable and I NEED to buy it for someone who isn’t as concerned with having a more grown-up looking, put together kitchen as I am. Other Suggestions: Kind of cheesy but I know plenty of guys would be tickled to get something from Nick Offerman’s wood shop. I recommend the kazoo.
Hillflint sweater: I am tired of going on Facebook and seeing all these Big 10 alumni bros going back for homecoming in the same red and white striped overalls they tailgated in as sophomores. Other Suggestions: I am also tired of going to music festivals and seeing all these “I order acid on the internet” bros carrying their water bottles full of vodka in the same cheap, plastic-y Nike drawstring backpacks they got at sixth grade basketball camp. Upgrade him.
Mad Max anthology: How many presents out there both perfectly communicate the decaying hellscape of broken masculinity we currently find ourselves in AND are something you both can enjoy? Probably only 5 or 6 things.