My Life · Society

Church Friends; I’m Just Trying To Make Fucking Friends

I can’t even call these people friends. I tried really hard to enjoy their company and I love going to church but I’m and alcoholic who smokes so many cigarettes that I’ll probably get cancer soon. But point being, I don’t think they appreciate my presence very much.

The first time I hung out with them out of church was to play volleyball. The only sports I enjoy are the ones that don’t involve teams. I’m not a team player. The other problem with team sports is they all involve balls being thrown or kicked in your general direction.

So of course, I’m avoiding the volleyball. I’m ducking, I’m moving away form whatever direction the ball is going, I’m refusing to even hit the ball. Finally, someone asks me, do you know how to play volleyball? Yes, I understand the concept of hitting a fucking ball over a net. But I didn’t say that, instead I said,”I don’t like balls near my face.”

They all looked at me like I had just said something inappropriate. And then I realized I did. I left.

This continues. I don’t think about what I say, I just say them. Well, apparently Baptists don’t drink or smoke. I just don’t give a shit. I like to have fun. I’m at bible study on a Thursday evening but I had been drinking at work so I was feeling pretty great. Whatever passage we read, somehow had the group on the topic of how they don’t fall in to the pressure of doing bad things while they’re judging other people they know. And I say, “I’m sorry, I’m a little drunk, what the fuck are we talking about?”

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